Monday, October 15, 2012

Titles?.....My Promise To Alayna and My Wife

As we get closer and closer to Alayna’s big day I wanted to post about titles and my promise to Alayna and my wife.  Ok so some of you may be thinking what is this guy talking about?!?!?

Everyone has experienced multiple titles in their life.  When you are first born you have the title of a “baby”.  Eventually, you will grow older and your parents will label you as a child.  Then from the child stage you become a school aged child or a student.  Soon you hit as some may call it your favorite years a teenager.  From a teenager the next step is becoming an adult.  Don’t you think it’s odd when they consider you an adult at eighteen years old?!?! You are still in the teen years of life!!!

Once you turn eighteen and graduate high school you find yourself on different paths.  Eventually, you will find a job/career and in this job/career again you will have many different titles.  Most of us will get married at some point in our life and you will then take another title husband/wife.  Then as a couple you will decide on when and if you want to expand your family.  So this brings me to the title that I am about to accept soon and that is a DAD!!!  I cannot wait for this new chapter in my life to begin.

As you can see through all the titles that I have described you eventually graduate from the title that you have……baby, child, student, teenager, etc . etc.   I believe when an individual becomes a parent they are assigned this title for life.   Even when you are living in your nineties you still will be a parent to your son or daughter.  So for all you mom’s and dad’s out there that think once your child moves out that your parenting duties are over think again.  You will still be a mom and dad to them.  I just think that this title is so unique and amazing.  Since I thoroughly bored all of my readers about titles in your life lets move on to my promise.

When we were going through our pregnancy process I just wanted a healthy child but I did mention how great it would be to have a daddy’s little girl.  Well it looks like that is about to come true.  Alayna, I want to make some promises to you and I hope that your mom and our family will hold me accountable to these promises.  My readers can hold me accountable too.  

I am about to make a lifetime commitment to you Alayna from the time you take your first breath.   I promise that I will sacrifice things that matter less for the things that matter most.  I know you will not understand this now but you will be my number one priority in life.  As soon as I leave from work and head home I will check my work at the door and focus on our family.  The first thing that I want to see when I come in that door is my daughter and wife.  That stressful day of work will not matter once I see your faces. 

One of the most important promises I will make is time. When I decide on how to spend my time I will think about fatherhood and I will put my own formerly selfish interests aside for the benefit of our family.  The focus will be on spending quality time with you not just the quantity of time.  My goal is to create memories that last a lifetime for you well after I am gone.  I want you to be able to reflect on those memories with your dad and how they shaped your life. 

I promise to teach you responsibility. I will teach you the value of work and responsibility as you grow through your years.  You will learn by my own example of keeping commitments and by putting family first.  I will be demanding accountability through giving you responsibilities like chores and school work. This will prepare you for adulthood.  I know this sounds that I will be tough on you but you will learn to appreciate these responsibilities as you become an adult. 

I promise to teach you respect.  The only way you will learn this is by example.  It is my duty to show you respect and respect on to others.  To set an example you will see firsthand the respect that I provide your own mother.   This eventually will instill the qualities that you should look for in your future spouse. 

These are just a few of promises but there are many more I have for you Alayna.  I hope that as the years go by that I am held accountable for these promises.  At the end of the day, I want you to be able to look to me as not only your dad, your friend (hopefully) but as a role model.

Maria, I also have a few promises for you as we begin this new chapter in our life.  In our new chapter of life the focus of our relationship will move from just the two of us to now the three of us.  But I want you to know that I will insure our bond of husband and wife remains strong.  That means we will make time for date nights and to be together as just husband and wife.  This is key for any marriage to have husband and wife time!!

I promise to show you through fatherhood the man I have become and the reason why you said “I Do” on our wedding day!  I promise to demonstrate that I am not only a husband but also a dad.    I could tell you all the stuff that I plan to do once Alayna is born how I plan to get up in the middle of the night and change diapers  or just listen to you when you need someone to talk to.  I want you to feel that we are in this parenting thing as a couple and not just a single person pulling all the weight.  At the end of the day Maria, the most important thing I want you to feel is that we are a family!!

I know I have expressed this before on my blog but Maria you need to hear this once more.  Our journey to become parents has truly been like no other.  Through this IVF process, you have taught me the meaning of staying positive and strong through adversity.  In the beginning, we knew we had the deck stacked against us with multiple hurdles to overcome to even get pregnant.  There were times of extreme sadness and other times of joy.  But never once did you or I say lets throw in the towel.  We were determined to have our own children and I cannot thank you enough for pushing through all the adversity.  You truly have amazed me through this entire process and I could not ask god for a better person in my life. 

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